(Really) Old Friends

Zosime sat near the crackling campfire, her hands held out it front of her, trying to absorb some of the warmth of the flames. It really was rather cold tonight; currently, the Hunters had made camp somewhere in Pennsylvania, which was a beautiful place, Zosime had to admit, but the nights grew quite chilly during during the last days of winter and the beginning of spring.

Her mind was usually alert on nights such as these, but tonight was different. For some reason, she was thinking of her old....what was the word the American mortals used today? Fiancé? Strange; she was quite certain that wasn't an English word. Anyways, her mind had wandered to the forbidden thoughts of her ex-boyfriend from over two thousand years ago.

It still truly hurt, even after all these years. Man had a duty to his wife or wife-to-be, and failing to fulfill that duty was a terrible crime. Men are pigs, she had decided long ago, and they seem to be worse now than ever. She thought of all the other Hunters whose hearts had been shattered, then hardened. Even the demigods believed that the Hunters were a little extreme when it came to the tolerance of men. They didn't understand.

She snapped back into reality as one of her sisters of the Hunt approached. "Katy," she greeted, perhaps more warmly than most of the other Hunters were accustomed to hearing from her. "How did your hunt fair?"

Katy's hunt had unfortunately been unsuccessful, she missed her intended prey by a few millimetres. She watched with frustration as the boar disappeared through the undergrowth. The prey escaped happily, living to forage another day. Though perhaps she might get another chance, Katy could run into it another day and make up for the missed shot. She returned to camp dejectedly as well as somewhat disheartened, Dimitri her sparrow hawk sitting on her shoulder slowly preening himself. Katy was quite young in comparison to the majority of hunters, she had only been a part of the hunt for sixty nineish years.
She was somewhat of a curiosity, her very nature made her flirtatious and one of the hunters more easily effected by the charms of males as well as females outside of the hunt. Her path happened to be difficult to walk, she needed to keep her feelings and emotions under control, less she fall pray to her long suppressed desires.

She looked stunning as the young woman moved effortless towards the centre of the camp, her long ginger hair healed into a braided ponytail, her blue eyes flashing with interest like a predatory feline and a spray of freckles. Lost in her own thoughts, Katy jumped at the sudden voice of her friend breaking her out of private thoughts and misery. "Oh hi there beautiful." She replied wincing as she flirted with her long time friend, Zosime. "It went well until I missed a shot and it got away." What a waste of several hours of careful tracking.
"How are you yourself?" Katy asked as she seated herself nearby her friend, before stretching herself out as if she were sitting on a luxurious French couch.

Zosime nodded silently in understanding at Katy's response. She was used to Katy's nature after so many years in the Hunt together. It was always disappointing when the prey got away, especially if one had spent the entire day or longer tracking it. Katy was still young (at least, compared to Zosime she was); more hunts would come and pass, and she would one day forget ever missing the shot.

"I did not hunt today," Zosime replied as she stretched out her numbing limbs. "It was my turn to watch. Camp was uneventful. You know, some days I actually wish for some monster to attack just so I have something to do. Us Hunters are not meant to be idle."

Zosime was far more comfortable around Katy than most of the other Hunters--there was something special about the younger girl, she guessed. Though Katy rarely showed it, she was quite friendly once you got to know her. It had taken Zosime at least a decade to finally get the girl to open up to her. It was strange, how mortals were so obsessed with outward appearance that they rarely seemed to think about what really mattered most: the heart. They did not understand love; they did not know of it, even if they told themselves they did. Poor Katy--she was perhaps the most attractive of all the Hunters, and so eyes always seemed to follow her around. Which was one of Zosime's triggers. She would rather die than see any of her Hunters hurt in any way, be it physically or emotionally.

"Hmm....remember that time in New York back in--oh, '83, was it? With the Cyclops?" she asked. Talking about monsters attacking camp had reminded her of an old hunt she and the daughter of Himeros had participated in.

"No but a peaceful watch is good." Katarina responded as she ran a hand through her luscious ginger locks. It was probably one of the child of Himeros' more annoying abilities the fact that, regardless of what happened to her Katy always appeared to look attractive. Some mortals would no doubt sat that was a boon but as a hunter it drew attention as well as desires of others... Attention which Katy could not always ignore, requiring her particularly when the hunters visited camp to stay in the company of more senior hunters for her own safety.
Zosime was one of Katy's closest friends within the hunt, she also happened to be the one who taught her everything she knew, except flirting 101, that was a gift from her father.

Katy nodded the once as the recalled the memory all too clearly. "Yes." The ginger haired hunter said initially, pausing to watch as her hawk flew off in search of his own prey. "I remember having to talk to a cyclops for what felt like a considerable length of time whilst you lined up your shot." Katarina teased, the cyclops having been only too willingly to talk instead of kill this attractive beauty. "Though I prefer the story of when kicked the teenage male in the nether regions as he attempted to flirt with me." She wisely left out the part where she returned the action, flirting back but such a thing could readily be assumed by any of the other hunters. There was little it seemed she did not flirt with, except Artemis who Katy did not act like herself around as if she were trying to suppress her natural urges and desires.
Katy knew full well that to cave in and give in to them would be to spit in the eyes of Artemis as well as her friends, to damn everything she cared about and turn her back on the life she wanted to live. For her sake, such desires needed to be locked away, never to be used or expressed. "I love the way the fire light catches your eyes." Katy whispered suddenly, though she acted like she had not said anything, again a common behaviour for her.

Zosime was still smirking at the memory of Katy and that mortal boy. She didn't think much of Katy's comments about her eyes; she knew that it was the way of the daughter of Himeros and so she never let it bother her. Sure, way back in the beginning when the girl had first joined the Hunters, Zosime had been well....a little snobbish, which she still regretted to this day. Over two thousand years had passed since she had shed her girlishness and became a member of Lady Artemis's followers and yet she still acted foolish sometimes. It was....inexcusable.

"The stars are bright tonight," she said, not even acknowledging her companion's comment (which was normal for them). She pointed up at one particular constellation. "Zoë is hunting Orion, can you see? Look, the Dog is barking at her but she remains unafraid, as she was in life. The Hunter and Huntress dance about each other but neither ever managing to land a blow on the other." She felt a familiar ache in her heart; Zoë had been lieutenant long before the daughter of Apollo had ever been born, and they had been quite close. Thalia was a phenomenal lieutenant--just as great as Zoë had ever been--and she would never question the younger girl's authority, but it wasn't the same....

"The stars will be here forever, Katy," Zosime said slowly, though more to herself than her fellow Hunter. "They will remain long after we're gone, long after this world's gone. Perseus shall save the daughter of the fool Queen Cassiopeia and slay the Kraken, Orion and Canis shall hunt their enemies with Zoë ever following....it is beautiful. Do you understand, Katy? Do you know what I'm meaning?"

OOC: Sorry about late update. School sucks ):

Initially Katy had not been a big fan of her best friend Zosime, but a mixture of time and her being the first hunter to generally be unfazed by her flirting helped significantly. There was one thing Katy could never be trusted to do, simply because of her nature and that would be leave her alone with either a boy or a girl not yet part of the hunt. Her tendency to flirt with just about anyone she found remotely attractive possessed the unfortunate ability to land her in a spot of rum luck, were the daughter of Himeros not careful.
It wasn't that she hated being part of the hunt, Katy loved it with all of her heart, but her natural tendencies would always be a part of her and therefore something to clash with... Potentially on a daily basis.

At Zosime's mention of the stars, she looked up observing them. She listened as the hunter explained, Zoe had kept a rigid eye on Katarina, in fact when it came to the visit to camp half-blood, insisted upon Zosime staying with Katy at all times. Katy at first hated the idea that she needed an escort, though she came to appreciate it when she bumped into a Son of Ares, six foot four of pure bronze shirtless muscle practising sword strikes, intelligent too she found out later from a daughter of Athena she stopped. She shook her head to dispell the image and the lurking thoughts which should be repressed that it brought.

Katy her attention returning to Zosime's story, shook her head. She hoped that her friend could not tell what had drawn her attention away. The last thing she wanted to do was upset her friend, there were precious few hunters who understood the challenges that faced Katy on a daily basis.
Zosime was one of the few who did and did not judge her for her weaknesses in the face of something she was doomed to covet as well as desire.

Katy did not respond to Zosime's question, which really was to be expected; she knew Katy's nature well enough to understand what the other girl dealt with every single day. She chose to redirect the matter of the conversation, wanting to know how her fellow Hunter was faring.

"So, how is it today?" she asked. She knew that Katy would understand what she meant.

"It is okay." Katy said after a few seconds of silence. In truth it was not and it would never be, Katarina would always struggle against her more base urges. She propped her crossbow on the ground, pausing to study one of the silver bolts, twirling it around in her fingers.
"How does.. How do you find dealing with boys and stuff?" She asked suddenly as Katy stopped moving the bolt, looking at the razor sharp point as if it held all of the answers. For the majority of hunters dealing with the forbidden males happened to be incredibly easy, for Katy... Things were much more difficult. She was as much drawn to them as they were to her. It sometimes made operations in cities or towns difficult due to males as well as the occasional female being drawn to Katy.
"It is... It is just that it seems so easy for everyone else but me." She whispered in a quiet voice, unable to meet her friend's eyes.

Zosime couldn't help but feel herself tense. Nuh-uh. No. She hated it when her Hunters talked like that. She felt her protective instincts kick in--she often felt as though in another life she would've been a good mother. "It's....different for everyone," she replied quickly, looking over at the other girl. "For some, it is more difficult than for others."

She thought of Clytius, and how broken she'd first been after joining the Hunters. Many of the newer girls were under the illusion that getting over her betrothed had been quite easy for Zosime. That could not be farther from the truth.

"For me, it was very hard in the beginning," Zosime continued, trying to soothe her friend. "I really had loved Clytius. I had wanted nothing other than a happy life with him....and our children....but that was not to be." She wished that Katy would make eye contact with her. "We each have our own cross to bear, Katy. There are different demons that each of us must fight."

She still thought of Clytius often, even though she tried to fool herself into thinking that she didn't. She had met other men like him since them: charming, caring, kind, honest....and she had been attracted to them. Sure, it was becoming easier and easier each time to resist, but she still felt....well, something stir in her, something that Zosime had once believed to be dead. "Sometimes, I think I still love him," she admitted. "Sometimes, I think that if I could do it all over again, I would've stayed with him." But then she brought her gaze to the flames before her. She thought of Zoë and of the former lieutenant's story. She thought of all the other Hunters who had been torn apart by men. "But, deep down, I know that I would never have changed a thing. It makes us stronger than the others, you know," she added.

Katy wished she could understand the struggles of her fellow Hunters easier. For her, each day was a battle against her desires, an eternal siege on her mind which would never truly end. Yes, some days would be much easier than others... But, she still had to fight them, to shove them aside. It was tough, incredibly so with no end, the long war as it were.
Katarina as far as she knew had never encountered love, though part of the demigod secretly desired it, particularly the forbidden true love. Such a concept whispered all to easily through her mind as well as heart, secreting dark desires and ideas which should never be indulged or discussed. Katy listened to Zosime, considering the other hunters words.

She did not make eye contact with her friend, for the moment she kept her own council as she starred intently at the bolt. When Zosime fell quiet, Katy took a few deeps breaths, gathering her courage as she raised her head to meet the gaze of her friend. "I had not considered it that way." Though, personally Katy viewed her longings to be a weakness and her attractiveness towards others to be a curse. The latter particularly in crowded environments, like Camp Half-blood.
There were far too many good looking guys and girls there... Far too many. "It is hard to resist what I innately desire... I only hope that I can stand up and make Artemis proud." Katy whispered, her voice hushed as if she were ashamed to admit such a thing.

OOC: Sorry it is short and for the late reply, rl got really busy.

OOC: It's fine. This is the first time I've been on in three days, so I understand.

BIC:

Zosime decided that she would tell someone at last--tell what she had not dared to speak of ever since Zoë's death. "I have always wanted to be a mother," she said quietly, low enough that the other Hunter would have to strain to hear her.

One was not supposed to fall in love. One was not supposed to be with a man. One was not supposed to lose her maidenhood. One was supposed to only exist to serve Artemis and no other.

Most of the time, this was enough for Zosime. She was more extreme than most of the other Hunters--something she was not ashamed of admitting to. There had been very few males that she had ever considered "friends"--though none of them had been attracted to her in the way that was forbidden, thankfully. She had no desire to be with a man; after all, she had sworn on the River Styx never to let a man even kiss her on the lips. She never wanted a spouse. She never wished to lose her maidenhood. Except....

She had never lost the desire to become a mother. That had always been her dream before she had made her vows, and she had never forgotten of it. Zosime had always--and still--imagined what it would be like, to hold her own child and nurse it, to care for it and love it, to raise it and watch it grow....to see it have children of its own....

But that was never meant to be--not for her, not ever. "I still want to be a mother," she continued, struggling to keep the emotion out of her voice. "And it hurts, sometimes, to see mortal women with their children laughing, enjoying their lives that will end one day....but I live with it."

Katy felt her jaw drop open with surprise, such a confession was probably unique amongst the history of the Hunters. Certainly, she could think of no Hunters who admitted to wanting such a thing. A large part of her felt guilty about her own draw towards her desire, they certainly were not for anything as noble as motherhood. Her's were just for the pursuit of pleasure. As far from noble desire as possible.
Katy said nothing when her friend confessed that she still wanted to be a mother. It must of taken her a lot of courage to admit to it.
"You are a mother..." The red haired girl spoke quietly. "You are a mother to the rest of us Hunters." She fell silent for a few moments. "It is not the same I guess but I.. I... But it something."

OOC: It is okay.

Zosime couldn't help but feel a little warmth rise in her chest when she heard Katy's words. Though this wasn't exactly a new concept to her--she had considered herself a motherly figure among the Hunters for centuries now--it still felt different, hearing this from one of the other girls. "I am....glad you feel that way, Katy," the older Hunter replied sincerely.

Katy was right about the other thing as well, though: that it wasn't the same. Zosime's role among the Hunters was never permanently set in stone: she acted as the mother here, the sister there, the friend sometimes, the ally always, etc.--but while she was all of those things, she would never be a real mother. She would no have her own children....but there was no point in being bitter about it; she had chosen this fate for herself long ago, and, to be honest, if she had the ability to go back and change everything, she knew that she wouldn't.

The daughter of Apollo looked back over at her companion--her friend, her sister, the closest thing she would ever have to a daughter. "You look tired," she commented. "Get some rest. You must face another day come dawn."