Shits and Giggles

Liam didnt choose to be here. In fact, he was only here because he had zero choice in the situation in hand. If he had a choice he’d still be in bed, you know, recovering from a month long coma. He had only woken up a couple days ago. He could barely move. But no, his sisters just had to drag him along on their little adventure. Something about him, “getting back out there,” or something like that.

Aspen was walking around the streets with her younger sister and her older brother. She had a bottle of wine in her hand and began to take a swig as they made their way over to The Tipsy Toga. "Liam, c'mon, this will be good for you. I'll order you so many shots you wont feel pain anymore. Maybe you'll even get lucky." She said teasing him.

Rowan had had a little too much to drink that night. So, she thought it'd be a fabulous idea to steal some spray paint out of the stash of contraband that the centurions had gotten from the last bunk search, and use it on the side of the cohort one barracks.
"Listen, listen, listen." Rowan stressed the last listen, "We've got to get back at Carter for being a jackass." Rowan picked up one of the the cans, which was a very gaudy shade of blue and shook it as hard as possible and for probably longer than needed. Then she started to spray out the C and the A of carters name.

Liam could barely move his head from side to side, so he had to assume that Aspen was joking, cause he was definitely not getting lucky like this. Liam and his siblings had just spent most of the night at the tipsy toga, it wasn’t his usual hang out spot, but his sisters had insisted. He was more or less, slightly not in his own mind as he watched his youngest sister spray paint the side of his old cohorts barracks.

Aspen watched as Rowan began to spray paint the side of the barracks. She had wanted to go back to the Tipsy Toga. The shots and the music was great at this time of night. Instead they were trying to get back at some little punk Aspen didn't really know about or care about. "Hold on, I need a colour here, do we have white?" Aspen asked as she stumbled over and began to loudly fumble around with the cans knocking some over. She found the white. "I'm going to draw something great you guys, watch this." Aspen said slurring her words. She began to shake the can but dropped it. Aspen picked it back up and began to draw a small circle.

"Hey! I'm trying to do something here!" Rowan protested as Aspen started to spray paint something. Rowan continued the letters of Carter's name, except the last the last couple were really squished together because she had reached the corner of the wall. Underneath she started another word. S-U-C-K-
"Wait, should I spell sucks with an s or a z?" She asked, as if it were the MOST important question in the world.

“W-with a ‘z’.” Liam answers, even though he doesn’t know why he bothered answering, normally he wouldn’t. Liam sighed, how the hell did he get dragged into this? Oh right... he was in a wheelchair, which meant he literally got dragged into it. However Liam hated Carter as much as the next person did, so really, it was quite entertaining for him to watch his siblings degrade the younger boy. His sister’s hadn't been wrong, the night was lifting his spirts quite a bit.

Aspen looked over to Rowan almost shooting daggers. "Listen pip squeak, you'll enjoy this." She shot back before having an amused smile on her face. She drew the rest of the shape. It was a small phallic shape. "I think it goes with the statement." She said proudly as she took another swig of wine.

Rowan considered the penis that Aspen had drawn, nodding as if she were observing a fine painting. "Thank you." She said with full sincerity. Then she finished up her masterpiece by adding a very large Z to the end. She stepped back to admire her work, and then decided to add a extra line below saying very small penises and then drew an arrow to her sister's addition.

Liam could do nothing but give the smallest laugh to what his sisters had spray painted. Even though he was almost completely against it, Rowan and Aspen had just pulled off one of the largest pranks on a Centurion ever. Liam found it hilarious, even if he didn’t have the strength in him to prove it to others.

Aspen couldn't help but laugh out loud as Rowan added more to the wall. She left her hand up for Rowan to give her a high five. "Some solid work there sis. I did intend for it to symbolize Carter's, but this works too."

"Listen, listen, listen, list-en" She said, returning the highfive, "art isn't about intention, its about the truth. Its about.......... truthfullness. You see I know for a fact that Carter sucks tiny penises. This is just the way I choose to tell the world."

Liam laughed. “Hey Ro... how do you know what Carters penis looks like?” He asks.

Aspen continued to sip out of her wine bottle as Rowan began to talk about art. She rolled her eyes, "Okay Ro, I didn't ask for an art lesson. Also Liam, are you drunk? she's saying carter sucks tiny penises not that he has one... but who knows." Aspen said shrugging her shoulders and lifting her arms up in a 'I don't know' fashion.

"Listen, I have a certain standard my art needs to uphold. I can't have your messy tiny penises ruining my standing within the elite society of artists I'm in. Also I have never seen Carters d*ck and I have absolutely no intention to, thank you very much." In the corner of their new mural, Rowan did a very quick signature. However, her inebriated state combined with her lack of talent when it came to spray painting left something closer resembling another penis than her signature.

“Yes im drunk... its not like i got anything better to do other than drink....” Liam says to Aspen laughing, “also being very defensive for someone whos supposedly never seen Carters penis...” he adds to Rowan

"Listen, listen, listen list-en" Aspen said mocking the way her sister would have said it. It had become one of those things where you mock someone so much for saying it that it becomes something you say. "One, out of all of us here, I'm the artiste." She said saying the final word with more of a fake accent, then continued on, "two... Liam lets be fair. No one wants to see Carter's d*ck. They'd probably confuse it with child pornography."

Once Aspen's last two words left her mouth, Rowan dropped the spray paint cans and started walking away with her hands up in surrender.
"I'm sorry I just can't keep doing this." She stopped in her tracks halfway between the first cohort barracks and the barracks across the street before turning around and walking straight back. She picked up the spray paint can and wiped it with her sleeve before dropping it and walking away again.
"You know he's gonna check those for prints."

“Why dont you just bring it with you?!” Liam asks, he’d throw his hands up in the air if he could. He didnt add that her sleeve wasnt going to wipe the finger prints away.... or that she added more finger prints trying to get rid of them.

Aspen watched as Rowan began to walk around and just shook her head. She continued to drink the wine that was with her. "Probably best to bring them with us for now. Maybe bury them in the backyard or hide them in the training room. What's next on the to-do list for tonight? anyone else you're mad at Rowan?"

Rowan was halfway across the dirt road before turning around to reply to Aspen, which she did in a stage whisper, "Nope that's it. Unless we wanna go mess with carter more. Dunno how though."

Rowan thought for a moment before saying casually, "We could always frame him for murder."

“Go to his house?” Liam suggested, though he didnt know why he was fueling this. Well, probably cause he hated carter also...

At the mention of murder one of Aspen's eyebrows had risen up on her face. Her sister had said it so casually that she was a little confused. "I mean we could, but I'm sure there's other ways." Her mind trailed off for a bit before she began to giggle uncontrollably. "We could put rice in his bed."

Rowan rolled her eyes, "yeah or we could unmatch his socks or set his alarm clock for an hour later." Rowan paused for a minute, thinking further.

"I guess we could hide contraband in his bunk and then tip off the praetor."

Liam laughed, none of these things he could do. “Or we could just go back to a bar and drink more.” He suggested. Drinking was the only thing he could do.