Movies and Coffee (p)

it's friday and jaques still doesn't know what he's doing. he hadn't told anyone he had a date tonight, not that there was anyone he really could tell aside from his parents, and he wasn't even supposed to come over for dinner tonight so he didn't have any reason to tell them. he can't tell if he's supposed to feel a thrill of rebellion at keeping it a secret, or if he should feel shame at not having anyone to tell.

chance's flirting hadn't helped that much. jaques couldn't help but be hopelessly charmed, even though he's been trying his hardest to keep his head clear, keep the possibility of the whole thing being an elaborate prank in his mind so he doesn't get so hurt if it happens. but chance had been so sweet, texting and calling and bringing him breakfast and it's everything he's ever wanted, really.

in spite of how preoccupied he's been with the date, jaques still somehow ends up running late (for his standards, at least), arriving at 7:50. he's wearing a striped blue button down and a pair of slacks, but he has no clue if that's appropriate for the situation. gods, he doesn't know what he's doing.

chance is waiting outside the theater for him, sitting on a bench and scrolling through his phone. jaques' breath catches slightly when he sees him, and he almost turns around and runs back home to spend the evening with a book and a cup of tea. but he ignores the urge, taking a deep breath and forcing himself to move forward.

"hi," he says, hoping his nervousness isn't too obvious. chance looks so calm. jaques doesn't know how he does it.

gods, jaques has no clue what he's doing. he has no clue. he hopes chance can't notice how jaques' breath catches slightly when he hugs him. he hasn't even hugged someone who isn't a relative.

"i'm well," he says, trying to come off as coy rather than shy. "how are you?" he'd practiced in the mirror for hours, trying to make the words sound natural, like he's done this before. he still flushes when chance looks him over, not sure how to handle the attention. no one has ever looked at him the way chance looks at him. he likes it.

"a cure for wellness sounds interesting," he says with a small smile. gods, he wants this to work out so badly.

jaques' smile widens and his blush deepens. he's positive he shouldn't be this charmed, but chance is just so nice and jaques wants this so bad.

he feels clumsy, making his way through the small talk with stutters, but chance is engaged and actually interested in what jaques has to say, even though it's just insignificant small talk about their classes and the weather and whatever else comes up. it's nice, so nice that jaques needs to keep reminding himself not to get too comfortable. gods, if chance says it's all a joke he'll cry. who was he kidding, saying it wouldn't hurt? maybe he should just pretend he's gotten a text from his mom saying he needs to go home. he likes chance so much. he couldn't handle this being a prank.

but then chance is already buying their tickets, and jaques can't just bail now, not after chance went and spent actual money. gods, he's f*ck. jaques is so f*cked.

"that's fine," he says softly, taking the ticket from chance and following him into the theater. "thank you for paying."

jaques thought he was maybe doing alright at hiding the fact that he was completely bricking it, but apparently not well enough. a wave of embarrassment washes over him, completely distracting him from the fact that chance had asked a question earlier.

"this isn't, like. a joke, right?" he asks, quietly and barely hiding the tremor in his voice. "like, at the end of the night you're not going to tell me i'm boring and you were just seeing if you could actually make me think it was real?" he doesn't say, this is my first time on a date, or i've been bullied and made fun of before, or i like you so much please like me back.

jaques shrugs. "i wouldn't put it past someone to do," he says, staring down at the floor and then at chances' hand in his. "i'm not good at picking up context clues. people think it's funny, sometimes."

it doesn't bother him that much anymore, not usually. most of the time he doesn't even think about it. but then there are moments when he's around new people, or people who are so much more socially adept than he is, and it all just comes rushing back. the itching paranoia of being made into the butt of a joke and a hesitancy to react because he's expecting cruel laughter if he doesn't respond right.

gods. for a second jaques feels overwhelmed, but it's not in a bad way like when there are too many people or too much noise or too many lights. he's afraid he's going to cry when chance presses a kiss to his hand, but he blinks the tears away before they can spill.

he takes the penny, rubbing his thumb over the tarnished surface. he knows he's probably overthinking it, but he can't stop thinking about the part in peter pan where wendy gives peter a thimble to represent a kiss.

jaques knows chance isn't lying now, can sense it in his bones. "yeah," he says, finally looking up from the floor and into chance's eyes. "yeah, i trust you."

jaques bites down on his lower lip, trying to keep from smiling ridiculously. he's sure he shouldn't like chance this much already, but he does. no one like him has ever taken the time of day to acknowledge jaques. no one has been this kind to him before.

"thank you," he says softly, still smiling as he takes the bottle of water chance gave him. he wishes chance had a free hand. jaques hadn't held anyone's hand since he was a little kid. it was nice. he didn't realize how much he missed the feeling until chance had taken his hand.

he blushes when chance thanks him, needing to hold back his smile again so he doesn't look absolutely ridiculous. "i should be thanking you," he says. "no one's ever treated me like this before."

he can't stop thinking about the fact that chance called him cute. the compliment settles, warm and heavy in his chest. he likes chance so much.

jaques smiles and laughs. he's been blushing almost non-stop since he first saw chance waiting for him outside the theater. "it might be best if you held the popcorn," he says with a laugh.

jaques had only bee absent mindedly watching the movie, really. it was interesting, but jaques had always been more interested in biographies and histories. those don't really make good first date material, though, and jaques doesn't really mind; it's still good.

the point is, he's not really paying much attention, and that's before chance wraps his arm over jaques' shoulders and shifts in his seat so they're closer together. his breath catches in his throat for what feels like the millionth time this night. he nods slowly, carefully, and whispers, "yes," softly, mostly out of instinct since he knows chance probably won't even be able to hear it. he cuddles in closer to chance, closing his eyes for a second and just appreciating the moment.

jaques has to keep himself from cuddling in closer to chance's side. for as much as he loves physical affection, jaques has always been fairly shy when it comes to actually doling it out. but he does trust chance, even though they haven't known each other long.

he's almost surprised when the movie ends, having gotten so comfortable curled up in chance's side. he hadn't been paying much attention to the screen, but from what little he grasped it seemed interesting and he nods in agreement. "coffee sounds lovely," he says after standing up, barely holding back a grin.

jaques blushes again, and he tilts his head down to hide his smile behind his hair. "i liked that too," he says softly. his heart is racing in his chest. jaques isn't sure he's ever been this happy before. he likes chance so much.

"a walk would be great," he says, and he lifts his head up to smile at chance through the fading sunlight. he bites down on his lower lip to try to tame it down some, but it doesn't really work. he's not used to being able to feel the wrinkles by the corners of his eyes from smiling.

"yeah," he says, smiling and nodding slightly as he steps into the line. "mostly documentaries, some war films and samurai movies." chance's hand is warm in his, and jaques feels almost like he could fly.

the line was blessedly short, and jaques gets to the counter in no time. he orders their drinks, the grande caramel frappuccino for chance and a grande iced green tea for himself. shortly after they're handed their drinks and heading off into the night.