The Finntastic House

So.. apparently sometime after they did some pot and stuff, they had somehow gotten married. Finn had gone off to make a tv show, and Charlotte was left at an apartment, trying to make an omlette. After about 5 hours, she was still no closer to making it.

"Dammit, Finn is going to be so unhappy..."

Finn came in. "Charlotte! Honey bunny! Uh, other sweet things to say. I have good news. First off, my mom agreed to pay for the apartment for the first month." He didn't mention the part where he hung up on her when she was yelling about annulling the marriage, though. "Second off, Finntastic TV got hella ratings!"

She'd whirl, sending an incomplete omelette flying towards him. "That's great news, Finn! I'm so proud of you!" While not being an airhead, she was pretty ADHD like all the other DemiGods. She'd wince as the hot food went at him. "Oops?"

The food lucky hit Finn's chest, and he was wearing a dress shirt. "Ow! Damn!" He got it off. "Ooh, yikes, that burns, but it's okay, I'm way too happy to be brought down right now. Wait, weren't you making an omelette while I left? Have you been cooking an omelette for 5 hours?"

"...Yes... It's not as easy as people tell me it is. At least I've managed to poach the eggs?" She was proud of herself for that. "I wanted to be able to cook a meal for you, so I've been watching tutorials..." Well, she should probably be taking classes, but that involved other people and she didn't care much for that at he moment. "Fortunately, the eggs were provided by the local Farmers free."

"Oh, right. You don't have to cook for me, we can just eat out for now," he said, taking his tie off and throwing it on the table. The apartment was only a kitchen, living room, two bedrooms (his mom made sure of that), bathroom, and balcony. It was fairly small. "Here, we'll use my paycheck from the pilot episode of Finntastic TV." He got it out of his pocket. "Well, it's not a lot, because it was originally an internship, but then it did so well they paid me, but then they took out money for Bob's medical expenses. So, that means we have...10 dollars!"

"Oh no. Which Bob? Pirate Bob? Glam Rock Bob? Military Bob? Cheerleader Bob?" She didn't know why her husband had decided to call all the workers "Bob", but she went along with it, figuring it'd keep him happy. "I guess I can buy a lot of Top Ramen... Or maybe we can just go eat with the Cohort, and snatch as much leftovers as possible?"

"Cameraman Bob who had his chair explode in the first episode. His nickname is apparently Wade. "Nah, let's eat out, my mom said she'd send 1000 dollars anyway to pay for the food until I got settled into my job." Well, the truth was she said she'd send him it if the marriage got annulled, so she expected a document that she needed to sign shipped to her within a week, in exchange for the money. It was okay, Finn was good at making things look authentic. He already had the first draft- a sketch of two figures on notebook paper with the line below it 'Sign here if you no longer want this marriage.'

"So, your Mother called and demanded the marriage be annulled. I laughed and told her that My Mom would probably take exception to that, and then she offered to bribe my Mom. That's when I hung up." Cutting all the joking out, Charlotte was actually pretty serious. She just made herself ridiculous because that's seemed to be want Finn needed in his life. She was possibly more stable of the two of them. That or her Mother had brainwashed her hardcore while she'd been asleep, which was likely. She'd caught herself dressing like a businesswoman, which had prompted her to borrow some hard liquor from a neighbor "for cooking". She planned to drink it with Finn instead. The Neighbor probably was aware of this..

"Wait, what? She knows your mother is Bellona, you know, I told her." Finn sat down. "Look, I know it's crazy and actually rational thinking on my part, but I think maybe we should get the marriage annulled. Like, I love you and want to be married to you, but we put ourselves in a big problem here. Later on, we can get married properly and such. Like, I've been thinking about it a lot, and I really want to stay married, but this could all end so badly. It's certainly a change of heart and I may be contradicting what I said before...did I use contradicting right there? I always thought before a few days ago that contradicting is what a snake did to you when wrapped around you. What do you think we should do?"

"Well, I'm more afraid of what my Mom will do... Maybe you should try and ask your Dad?" Prior to this insane occurrence, Charlotte hadn't cared about her Mother and what she could do at all, because being born and ditched by both parents was not fair to her... But now that her Mother had gotten pissed and gotten them married somehow, she was a bit scared. "Maybe we should ask Juno? Though I think she's still pissed off about her online service from long ago."

"How the literal fudgesicles do you expect me to get a hold of Cupid?" he asked, getting up and going to his room. He changed into a black t-shirt and khaki shorts. "Or Juno, for that matter?" he asked, looking around. "I wish we could afford cable...or a TV...or internet."

She'd shrug. "Who knows? It's not like any of our parents are easy to get a hold of... I basically trashed Mom's temple and did a bunch of other crap before she finally decided to show up. Then she basically got us married somehow." Moving to sit down, she'd continue speaking. "It'd be nice to have those things, but I think Camp Jupiter uses ComCast as their internet provider...I don't like that name."

"Yeah. But, wait, what's wrong with the name Comcast? Is it dirty? I doubt it's dirty..." Finn trailed off, thinking about the name. He opened the fridge. "Uh, Charlotte, did you go shopping yesterday? We only have-" he paused, inspecting. "Half a gallon of milk, one egg, and a stick of butter."

"So I suck at cooking." Which they have established. "We also have a bottle of liquor from our Neighbors. I think they believe I'm miserable or something." She'd put her hands in her hair, and start braiding it. "I can get quite a bit of Ramen for what money you've got."

"Alright, this what I'm thinking. We go take this 10 dollars, have a fun night at McDonald's or something, and then we go to the Court House and get the marriage annulled. We then still live together, but we're just not married, and then we get married again in the future. I'll be 18 soon, how close are you to 17?" Finn was actually disappointed he didn't know her birthday.

She'd throw up her hands. "I have no idea, I was only told the year I was born." She'd look up at the sky and flip off her Mother. "You could be helping!. She'd sigh, obviously annoyed at her terrible luck. "That sounds fine."

"Alright, maybe the Legion has record of your birthday. So, you were born in 2000, correct?" he asked, opening the front door. "So, there's like a 7/12 chance that you are 17." Finn went to the car, bringing his ten dollars. He put his hands on her shoulder. "Don't worry, by the way, we'll be fine," he said, kissing her.

"I was put up for an Adoption, I don't think anyone knows when or where I was born." She'd place a hand atop his, touched by his good cheer. "I wonder how many DemiGods are just ditched by both parents?" She hoped it wasn't that common, because that'd be terrible

"I'm sure there's a way of figuring it out, we're demigods for crying out loud." He smiled. "Probably a lot. Every demigod is abandoned by one, so that means at least 50 percent are abandoned by both. OKay, maybe not that high, but I just feel like if you took every demigod in the camps and organized them on a form on a site somewhere, you'd see most of their history is tragic." He got in the driver's seat. "You know, it's been a while since we've made out," he said with a smile, being the perv he was.

She'd tease him with a finger. "Find out my birthdate, and we can have some fun. Until then... We should at least eat!" Her stomach grumbled. "Maybe we can give the omelettes to the Fauns?" She'd giggle

"The Fauns...those dumbass goat looking things running around camp? Yeah, no thanks." He recklessly drove to the nearby McDonald's. "Trust me, especially with that on the line, we'll figure out your birthdate." He ordered them chicken nuggets and fries, with basically what he could afford. After getting the food, he parked, and started eating. "So, why'd you choose me? Like, why did you ever want me? I'm ugly and admittedly somewhat creepy. Don't tell people I said that, though, everyone needs to think I have really high self confidence."

She'd shrug. "You came to me, and made me happy. Most people, including those in my Cohort, just wanted me to do things for them. None of them really cared if I was happy. I would wear my worn out clothes, and they didn't really do anything to get me new ones." It was entirely possible that she is misremembering things. She might not have noticed them trying to, lost in her little world. She'd snatch the Szechuan sauce from him. "Mine"

"Oh, I gotcha. So wait, are you not dating me- well, married to me right now I guess- for my looks or personality? Is it just based off of the fact that I came to you? I mean, I'll take what I can get, but still." Finn put his hand on her cheek. "I'm glad that day I was delivering pizza I found you. If I hadn't, I'd still be the same loser...well, I am the same loser still, but with you." He ate a few chicken nuggets. "Do you love me?"

"Yes. You make me very happy." She'd lean over and kiss him. "I feel better knowing that I'm with you. I don't feel as lost, and directionless as before." Then she'd open pepper package and throw it in his face, giggling.